The Park Slope Group Helping People Mourn Their Pets
“It's rare when people truly understand, so I was excited to be around some other people that got it.”
Thanks so much for reading Park Slope Times! I’m Kelley MacDonald, and I interview neighbors about their lives and favorite things to see, eat, and do in and around Park Slope. If you'd like to read these interviews, please upgrade to paid. If you stick with a free subscription, you’ll get occasional free emails, like this one. Thank you so much for being here!
Reading via email? You may need to click “view entire message” to read the whole thing. Also, you can reply to this email.
Hi! How was your week? We’re heading back to New England for a few days, and I’m looking forward to the fresh air and cooler evenings. One bit of housekeeping before we get to today’s story: in last week’s newsletter about the Park Slope Authors & Illustrators Library, I asked readers to leave comments on the page instead of the email. However! I’ve since learned that you can’t leave comments on pages. Whoops — sorry about any confusion! So, please leave comments on my original email, and I’ll update the page with any new info. Thank you for all your kind words and messages about the library! Okay, onto today’s feature…
Mourning the death of a pet might be one of the loneliest types of grief. Watching an animal pass away can take an immense emotional toll — but because pets aren’t humans, some people minimize how devastating the loss can be for pet owners.
Last August, Maria Sandomenico’s beloved Chihuahua, Luigi, suddenly passed away. Weeks later, after a suggestion from a friend, she logged on to Facebook and shared a long post in Park Slope Together about how she was struggling to cope with Luigi’s death. In a phone interview in July, Maria said, “I just felt so lost, and I wanted to talk to people because I know other people are dealing with this.”
She was right. Her DMs were flooded with stories from people who had similar experiences. “The messages were like, ‘This happened to me six months ago; this happened to me a year ago; this happened to me during the pandemic, and I had nobody to talk to.’” The response to her post was more than she expected.
Maria, who has owned and operated the professional dog walking and training business Tails on the Town for 25 years, hosted her first informal meetup in October at The Owl Farm. “These three women showed up. I didn’t know anything about them, but we all got together, and it was this amazing session. One of the women [lost her pet] during the pandemic and didn’t have anybody to talk to, and then another woman also during the pandemic, and it was like these people had grief for years,” remembered Maria.
Maria described the first meetup as cathartic. She said talking with people who have experienced the death of a pet made her feel less alone. “It's not just me having an awful time. A lot of people are, so in that respect, it makes you feel like you're not alone — and you're not crazy.” She said a lot of people feel like they can’t ask for help because it’s “just a dog or just a cat.” But that’s not how it works — “grief is grief,” she explained.
Jillian Maryonovich, a Creative Director in Park Slope, also experienced a devastating loss when her 17-year-old “soul cat,” Wendell, passed away in 2020. She struggled to find ways to cope with her loss, and after she read Maria’s post, she attended the first meetup. “You know, they're not good, but they're sweet. We were in the back of the bar, crying in the dark, eating our bar fries. You could see on other people's faces, the grief and the pain. It's helpful to witness that for them, and to feel seen too,” said Jillian.
Since that first meetup, Maria has hosted several more gatherings around Park Slope, most recently at Prospect Bar and Grill. Maria shares the date and time on Park Slope Together and invites anyone who needs support to join her, in a safe, judgment-free environment.
“I would love for this to become bigger than me; I want it to have tentacles,” said Maria. She loves the idea of a Prospect Park version of Central Park’s Secret Pet Memorial Tree, a special tree decorated by pet owners in remembrance of their lost pets. She talked about her desire to leave her contact information with her vet so people can call her if they need someone to talk to, similar to a grief hotline.
Jillian also wants to help the group branch out, and she thinks volunteering at a local shelter and taking dogs for walks together would help people work through their grief. She’s also interested in professional grief training to adopt proper vocabulary to help people cope with a loss.
Maria said she was “that person” who dressed up her dog in vibrant outfits. “I had this huge community on Instagram (@luigiweegechi), and one woman from Canada would send me these amazing outfits, made from cashmere. I got connected to people from around the world through him. I still have them. They check on me all the time,” she said.
While some people minimize how devastating it can be to lose a pet, when we’re lucky, our pets bring us the ones who don’t.
(Photos of Luigi courtesy of Maria Sandomenico. Photo of Wendell courtesy of Jillian Maryonovich. Secret Pet Memorial Tree photo by Lynn Lieberman.)
Family of father who died as a result of the Stella’s fire on July 18 needs our support: A GoFundMe has been set up to help the family, including twin 9-year-old boys who are students at PS107. Read more about the family on the GoFundMe page.
8 Park Slope restaurants participating in NYC Restaurant Week: The “week,” which is actually several weeks, kicked off on July 22, and 57 restaurants in Brooklyn are participating in the summer event. There are 8 in Park Slope, including Stone Park Cafe, Chela, The Dram Shop, Mikhuy Peruvian Restaurant, Fonda, Lore, Palo Santo, and Convivium Osteria, as well as several nearby, like Siren Oyster Bar & Restaurant (South Slope), Tiny’s Cantina (Prospect Heights), Morgan’s Brooklyn Barbecue (Prospect Heights), and others. Through August 18, you can stop by any of these restaurants for prix fixe menus for brunch, lunch, and/or dinner, ranging from $30-$60.
Back-to-school reading lists: Park Slope Librarian Nicole Gaudier curated lists of fun books kids can read when transitioning back to school.
08/03 Celebrate the Caribbean, 10AM-5PM 📍Brooklyn Children’s Museum
08/03 & 08/04 Nature Exploration: Wildlife Appreciation, 10AM-1PM 📍Prospect Park Audubon Center
08/03 Stationery Store Day Celebration, 10AM-6PM 📍Annie’s Blue Ribbon
08/03 Dog Sketching in Prospect Park, 10:15AM 📍Prospect Park 9th St Entrance (inside to the left)
08/03 & 08/04 Summer Family Discovery Weekends, 10:30AM-12:30PM 📍Brooklyn Botanic Garden
08/03 CATVIDEOFEST 2024, 11AM 📍Nitehawk Cinema
08/03 Cross-Stitch Still Life, 11AM-4PM 📍Brooklyn Botanic Garden
08/03 Spoons Toons All Ages, 12PM 📍Nitehawk Cinema
08/03 Summer Mocktails (waitlist only), 1:30PM-3:30PM 📍Brooklyn Botanic Garden
08/03 Natural Endings: Green Burial at Green-Wood and Beyond, 2PM-5PM 📍Green-Wood Cemetery
08/03 Sunset Sessions Presents: DJs Center & J. Rawls, 4PM-8PM 📍Parklife
08/03 First Saturdays Sol/Soley/Solo: Hands-on art, music, poetry, and film celebrating the dynamic cultures and traditions across the Caribbean, 5PM 📍Brooklyn Museum
08/03 Lakeside Roller Dance Night FT Roller Wave, 6PM-10PM 📍LeFrak Center at Lakeside
08/03 Mehrnam Rastegari, 6PM 📍Barbès
08/03 Dance Heginbotham’s You Look Like a Fun Guy, 7:45PM📍Brooklyn Botanic Garden
08/03 Young Adult Friction: An Indie & Alt Dance Party, 11:59PM 📍Union Hall
08/04 Puppetsburg & Rider Present: Sunday Morning Puppet Shows, 9:30AM & 10:30AM 📍Rider 8th Ave
08/04 1st Anniversary Party, 10AM-7PM 📍The Ripped Bodice
08/04 Smorgasburg, 11AM 📍Prospect Park Breeze Hill
08/04 "Miles" Pet Carrier Launch - Sip & Shop + Pool Party, 12PM-5PM 📍Gone to the Dogs
08/04 Green-Wood’s Greatest Hits, 1PM-2:30PM 📍Green-Wood Cemetery
08/04 Sunset Sessions Presents: Dom Galos, Jackie Mon Amour & Tres Dos, 4PM-8PM 📍Parklife
08/04 Hot Gossip w/Jonathan van Halem, 7:30PM 📍Union Hall
08/05 Documentary Screening & Q&A: Undercover, 5:30PM 📍Central Library
08/05 The FUN Mic: Free Stand-Up Comedy + $4 Tecates, 7PM 📍Freddy's
08/06 Game On! PSL GameTime! 3:30PM-5PM 📍Park Slope Library
08/06 Jack & Friends Summer Concert Series: Hopalong Andrew, 4PM-4:45PM 📍Park Slope Library Garden
08/06 Our Garden Club, 4:30PM-5:30PM 📍Central Library
08/06 Drop-In Comedy (Free Show, Free Beer, Pizza Raffle), 7:30PM 📍Two Boots
08/06 Poppin' Bottles Comedy Show w/Ely Kreimendahl & Becca Stephenson, 8PM 📍Littlefield
08/07 Kids Create, 4PM-4:45PM 📍Park Slope Library
08/07 BKLYN Fashion Academy Model Casting Call, 5PM-8PM 📍Central Library
08/07 Plaza Concert: Swingtime Big Band, 7PM 📍Central Library
08/07 Austin Nasso's Comedy Metaverse, 7:30PM 📍Union Hall
08/07 Trivia League Tuesday, 7:30PM-9PM 📍Parklife
08/07 Wednesday Greenmarket, 8AM-2PM 📍Bartel-Pritchard Square
08/07 Outdoor Cinema: Victor/Victoria, 8PM 📍Parklife
08/08 Prospect Park Stroller Walk, 10AM-12PM 📍Prospect Park Audubon Center
08/08 Summer Discovery Days, 10:30AM-12:30PM 📍Brooklyn Botanic Garden
08/08 Zumba, 5:30PM-6:30PM 📍Park Slope Library
08/08 Brooklyn Conservatory’s Midsummer Nights Free Concert w/Zacchae’us Paul, 6:30PM📍BKCM’s Front Stoop
08/08 Prospect Park Yoga with Brooklyn Flow, 7PM 📍Prospect Park, Long Meadow
08/08 Ricardo Gallo’s Horse’s Mouth, 7PM 📍ShapeShifter Lab
08/08 Daniel Weingarten, 7:30PM 📍Union Hall
08/08 Nocturnal Navigators: Green-Wood Bat Walk, 8:30PM 📍Green-Wood Cemetery
08/08 Summer Movie Series - Double Feature w/Park Slope filmmaker Sue Zarco Krammer: Swipe NYC (short film) & Gray Matters, 8:30PM📍Old Stone House, 4th Street Plaza
08/08 Very Good Comedy Show, 9PM 📍The VSPOT
Thank you so much for reading! I’ll see you back here next week with a fun interview, including several great local recommendations. Hope you have a good weekend!
Kelley xo